Why 2017 is going to cripple my bank account

2016 is over! Good riddance. I think its fair to say that for most people it was a pretty rough year. Brexit, Trump, the migrant crisis, and celebrity deaths. So many. High key ones as well. Bowie, Prince, Cruyff, Fisher, Rickman, Ali, Wilder - so many! But its over now. We can all look forward to the new year. What marvels await us in 2017?

Unfortunately, foresight for 2017 sees me very much out of pocket. Along with the fees for my first driving lessons (theres a scary thought), the inevitable tonne of revision guides I'll need to survive my A levels, 2017 is stacked full of cinema. So many movies are coming our way this year. Some will be great. Some terrible. Some I want to be great. Some I want to be terrible. So this a list of my  20 most anticipated movies for 2017 (anticipated for good or bad reasons)


1. Alien:Covenant

I remember the first time I watched the first 'Alien' movie at a friends sleepover when I was around 10 years old. Scared me senseless. Horror as a genre isn't my thing, and a lot of the sequels and spin-offs to the original film have been poor. However, it apparent that this film will at least attempt to recapture the magic of the first. A lot of the cast return, including Michael Fassbender. I'd quite like for it to be good.

2. Star Wars: Episode VIII

Who isn't excited for this ? 'The Force Awakens' was a massive success in 2015, and although I'm eager to see more spin-off movies like 'Rogue One', I'm also excited to see the continuation of the Skywalker story. Lets just hope its not a 2 hour long 'Rocky' style training montage of Luke and Rey levitating rocks on a island.

3. Wonder Woman

Fans have warned DC studios that they have one more chance to make a decent movie. BvS ? terrible Suicide Squad ? immensely disappointing. DC need to knock this one out of the bag to keep fans on board and prevent the entire universe getting shoved off to another studio and getting rebooted. There are positive signs though. Gal Godot was one of very few good parts of Batman vs Superman and the story looks likes its taken a lot of inspiration from 'Captain America: The First Avenger' in terms of a wartime/superhero story line, which can only be a good thing. Fingers crossed.

4. Beauty and the Beast

Disney's live action adaptations have been pretty good so far. People enjoyed both 'Cinderella' and 'The Jungle Book'. With Emma Watson and Ewan McGregor taking the main roles, this looks promising. Expect this to make an absolute killing at the box office.

5. Logan

We're finally getting an film adaptation of 'Old Man Logan' - an immensely popular Marvel comic! The X-Men movies have been, for the most part, a complete mess. However, Hugh Jackman's portrayal of Wolverine has been incredible and it will be nice to see it one last time, before Marvel Studios buy the rights from Fox and we can start getting good X-Men movies.

6. Power Rangers

A gritty, real life adaptation of the classic kids TV show. The trailer looks pretty good.

7. Spider Man: Homecoming

He's back, baby! After a decade of mediocre Sony Spider Man movies, Peter Parker is back where he belongs.  Tom Holland managed to stand out as a huge positive despite only featuring briefly in 'Civil War' and I can't wait to see more of him, especially his interactions with Iron Man. Also, Michael Keaton's Vulture looks genuinely terrifying and as though he could be an actual threat to 'Spidey' instead of the more traditional elderly man in a spandex who is usually on the end of quite a beating.

8. Dunkirk

Christopher Nolan's filmography is pretty much bullet proof, and with Tom Hardy and Cillian Murphy propping up the story line, this has serious potential. Awards incoming.

9. Thor:Ragnarok

The last 2 Thor movies have both been closer to fine than fantastic, but people love Chris Hemsworth's portrayal, and the prospect of Thor teaming up with Dr Strange and Hulk in a bizarre amalgamation of 'Ragnarok' and 'Planet Hulk' is extremely exciting. Plus Taika Watiti is a very promising young director.

10. Transformers: The Last Night

Hopefully, this is also the 'last' movie in this God awful franchise. Overproduced graphics that end up offering very little to film, weak and boring story lines and Mark Wahlberg's dopey Boston accent. And I must not forget that the misogynistic sexual exploitation of the female lead in the movie, which this time around is to a girl thats under age! Kill this series already.

11. 50 Shades Darker

...
NEXT!

12. Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2

This is more like it. Everything that was great about the first movie, plus three new team members, Baby Groot, and the both bold and brilliant decision to include Ego the living planet in a movie. As well as another 'Awesome Mixtape' to enjoy. Cannot wait.

13. Justice League

Ben Affleck's Batman is fantastic (when he isn't brutally murdering people). Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman is great. The glimpses that we've seen of Aqua Man, The Flash and Cyborg all look awesome. Henry Cavill's Superman isn't perfect but with a little work could be great. Do you see what I'm hinting at here? It cannot be that hard to make a good movie with such an prestigious line up of actors and comic book characters alike. Yet Zach Snyder is 0 for 2 on his DC movies. Hopefully, one of these two things occurs. Either Snyder knocks this one out of the park and it kick starts the DCCU, or it flops massively just like BvS and the studios kick him an give someone else a try.

14. The Emoji Movie

Why oh why does this exist? Granted TJ Miller is a very funny person and the 'meh' joke from the trailer is pretty good. I guarantee though that that joke will get old very quickly and after maybe a month in the box office,this movie will be swept under a metaphorical rug and never spoken of again.

15. King Kong: Skull Island

A star studded cast of Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, Samuel L Jackson and John Goodman, trapped on an island with the largest and most horrifying version of King Kong ever put to screen? Yes please.

16. The Lego Batman Movie

I felt blessed when two of my great loves (movies and lego) were combined to make The Lego Movie (2014). Now they've thrown Batman into the mix. He was hilarious in TLM and from the trailer I get the sense of the perfect balance between adapting the source material and taking the mick out of it at the same time. Should be good.

17. T2 Trainspotting

The original is before my time, but its apparently beloved by fans. All the original cast return, most prominently Ewan McGregor and Johnny Lee Miller. Maybe not one to see with my little sister though.

18. War for the Planet of the Apes

The rumoured final instalment of this current iteration of POTA movies. Since 'Rise' in 2011, the human characters have improved to match the standards of the Apes. Woody Harrelson looks to be going all in in his role, but to be honest I'd see another one of these based on the visuals and Andy Serkis' performances alone. Who doesn't love seeing an Ape bearing two machine guns whilst riding a horse into a tank?

19. Ghost in the Shell

Its going to be interesting to see if Rupert Sanders can pull this movie off with out triggering the fan base of the anime into a hate frenzy. Whilst it seems ridiculous that in the modern world, its not possible to find an asian female actress for the lead role so instead we have to put up with patchy, borderline racist facial prosthetics, Scarlett Johansson is great. It will probably be fine.

20. Captain Underpants

I think the best way to describe my feelings towards this movie is probably ... OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?! I spent more time reading these as a child than I'd care to admit, and whilst it will almost certainly be terrible, my forehead will be literally sweating with nostalgia.